Reordering, minimizing, prioritizing my life
Time = Money = Stuff = Time = Money = Life = Time = Happiness = Life
I'm feeling overwhelmed. By all the things I want to do, need to do. Why do I need to do want to do / need to do anything? Because I feel I'm not good enough? I just want more? It's an instinctive drive?
I'm interested in everything. I want to do and be everything.
I wish I had less stuff.
I wish I had more time.
But why?
What would I do with more time?
Well, read everything. Currently, I'm interested in Physics and IT. Learning Korean.
But I have this dream, goal of becoming a professional comic artist / musician... But they are getting in the way of me diving fully into Korean, physics and IT. But comics, music, they have been with me. I love them, as weird as that sounds. It takes a ton of time to make music. Even more to make comics.
What I'm really coming to terms with is the emotional aspect of the tradeoffs I'm faced with. Often before, I might only consider the possible benefits of a decision, unaware of the potential negative side effects of a decision. For example, I went through a big purge of stuff when I lived in Richmond (for who knows what reason) and at some point I had to purge fully in order to move to another city / job. But then I was so unhappy. I missed those things and started re-accumulating them.
Perhaps, because I lacked social support? Perhaps my new job was unfulfilling, in the way music and comics were?
So, if I were to give up on my dream of making comics professionally, it'd be a big weight and obligation off my shoulders but also giving up a part of soul. I think it'd make me a more cynical person. It'd make me a little more lifeless.
But really, the most urgent thing now, is that I need to make money or find a job.
So, this feeling of overwhelm, is a sign that I'm overloaded and need reorder my priorities.
before: chillin'
1. making comics
2. making music
3. eating well
4. mental health
5. league of legends
6. minimizing
7. hygiene
now: overwhelmed
1. making comics
2. making music
3. eating well
3. finding a job
4. coursera IT course
5. learning Korean
6. studying physics
6. make a skill share class
7. watching movies
8. minimizing
9. league of legends
10. corona virus news
11. political news
12. physical health
future: prioritized (what I should be doing)
1. find a job
2. coursera IT course
2. study physics
3. learn Korean
4. eat well
5. physical health
6. hygiene
7. making comics
8. making music
9. make a skill share class
// deprioritized (relegated) these are the fun things though?!
league of legends
corona virus news
political news
watching movies
broadly:
1. resource gathering (finding a job)
2. self-care (nutrition, physical / mental health, hygiene)
3. learning
4. creation
5. social?
What would be a fun life:
1. watch movies
2. play league
3. draw & paint
4. girlfriend
5. read
6. make music
7. self-care
a minimal life:
1. relationships
2. learning
3. self-care
4. creating
I'm feeling overwhelmed. By all the things I want to do, need to do. Why do I need to do want to do / need to do anything? Because I feel I'm not good enough? I just want more? It's an instinctive drive?
I'm interested in everything. I want to do and be everything.
I wish I had less stuff.
I wish I had more time.
But why?
What would I do with more time?
Well, read everything. Currently, I'm interested in Physics and IT. Learning Korean.
But I have this dream, goal of becoming a professional comic artist / musician... But they are getting in the way of me diving fully into Korean, physics and IT. But comics, music, they have been with me. I love them, as weird as that sounds. It takes a ton of time to make music. Even more to make comics.
What I'm really coming to terms with is the emotional aspect of the tradeoffs I'm faced with. Often before, I might only consider the possible benefits of a decision, unaware of the potential negative side effects of a decision. For example, I went through a big purge of stuff when I lived in Richmond (for who knows what reason) and at some point I had to purge fully in order to move to another city / job. But then I was so unhappy. I missed those things and started re-accumulating them.
Perhaps, because I lacked social support? Perhaps my new job was unfulfilling, in the way music and comics were?
So, if I were to give up on my dream of making comics professionally, it'd be a big weight and obligation off my shoulders but also giving up a part of soul. I think it'd make me a more cynical person. It'd make me a little more lifeless.
But really, the most urgent thing now, is that I need to make money or find a job.
So, this feeling of overwhelm, is a sign that I'm overloaded and need reorder my priorities.
before: chillin'
1. making comics
2. making music
3. eating well
4. mental health
5. league of legends
6. minimizing
7. hygiene
now: overwhelmed
1. making comics
2. making music
3. eating well
3. finding a job
4. coursera IT course
5. learning Korean
6. studying physics
6. make a skill share class
7. watching movies
8. minimizing
9. league of legends
10. corona virus news
11. political news
12. physical health
future: prioritized (what I should be doing)
1. find a job
2. coursera IT course
2. study physics
3. learn Korean
4. eat well
5. physical health
6. hygiene
7. making comics
8. making music
9. make a skill share class
// deprioritized (relegated) these are the fun things though?!
league of legends
corona virus news
political news
watching movies
broadly:
1. resource gathering (finding a job)
2. self-care (nutrition, physical / mental health, hygiene)
3. learning
4. creation
5. social?
What would be a fun life:
1. watch movies
2. play league
3. draw & paint
4. girlfriend
5. read
6. make music
7. self-care
a minimal life:
1. relationships
2. learning
3. self-care
4. creating
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