How to handle neurotypicals [Intellectually gifted/Asperger/ASD/...]

I wonder how different people across the spectrum of giftedness deal with / encounter neurotypicals. My hypothesis is that those on the profoundly gifted end of the spectrum are so far from neurotypical, they must not even be able to relate at all, whereas those on the moderately gifted side of the spectrum must be able to somewhat relate, but still have a gap. Perhaps those on the moderately gifted range will more often have these sort of conflicts because we (I believe I'm moderately / highly gifted range based on this scale https://thegraysonschool.org/unique-vulnerability-profoundly-gifted-children/) more often socialize with neurotypicals. Whereas the profoundly gifted live in some kind of different world where they rarely interact with neurotypicals.

As a corollary, there's research that managers need to be within a certain range of their team. That a manager whose IQ is too far away from that of their team will have a more difficult time working with them.

Then there's culture, general social skills, social background, etc... but that's a whole other issue.

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Yes, seems plausible indeed. I think the most "successful" people (in terms of career, money, ...) often are just slightly different from neurotypicals. Enough to make a small difference in results, but not so much as to make them functioning in a completely different way.

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Thanks so much for the insightful, thought provoking video and for engaging in discussion with an internet rando. In a sense creating a community / forum for the gifted...

That's an interesting idea, I agree that all things being equal having an intellectual edge might make a difference. Though I disagree in the idea of a gifted v neurotypical competition in terms of success, because there are many more factors that come into play. Here's why:

There's a longitudinal study on gifted children I read about in the book "The Gifted Child" by Cyril Burt (it's pretty old), the Terman Study of the Gifted https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genetic_Studies_of_Genius

It implies "success" in life varied even among gifted and was correlated with things like background of parents and temperament.

I'll quote some passages (I took photos from the book):

"In the successful group those who had parents from the professional classes were twice as numerous as in the unsuccessful group; and generally the educational tradition was far stronger in the families of the former."

"At school, the more successful had been promoted much more rapidly. 90 per cent had graduated, as compared with 37 per cent among the unsuccessful. Among the latter, many declared that they had just drifted into the jobs they occupied, and a good many would have preferred a different type of employment. Nevertheless, quite a large proportion had deliberately selected a comparatively humble career, free from responsibility, and many preferred to exercise their talents on hobbies and other pursuits which brought 'content rather than hard-earned fame'."

"The most striking contrasts were found in the assessments for temperament and personality. Even during childhood the least successful received far lower ratings for emotional stability, perseverance, self-confidence and social adjustment. Later on, quite in keeping with these early ratings, they appeared to change their jobs far more frequently and found it harder to settle down. The marriage rate was lower; the divorce rate was twice as high; and among the married the wives were far less intelligent and ambitious than those of the more successful members. Perhaps the most significant difference between the two, as revealed by ratings and actual test results, was a difference in the 'level of aspiration' and as the investigators term in, 'the drive to achieve'."

This seems to imply, that giftedness is not necessarily that helpful in achieving success, which makes sense to me, because giftedness is not about "success." Though, as you imply, between two people of the same temperament and background, it might give an edge.

As for me, if I were part of the study, I'd lean more towards unsuccessful. This study resonates with me, because my parents were not professionals and I see how that has affected my life in socioeconomic terms. Though, coming into the second half of my life, I feel my temperament and level of aspiration has shifted and I'd like to try out being "successful" for a change ;)